


My Way Home is Through You

by wordsofaninsanemind



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Love, M/M, Unplanned Pregnancy, some frerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsofaninsanemind/pseuds/wordsofaninsanemind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary meets My Chemical Romance before they make it big.  She realizes that she likes Gerard but is afraid to tell him. They sleep together and that upsets the natural order of everything which cause her to push all of them away. Now all these years later, her secret is revealed when she meets up with Mikey at a park in New Jersey. How will things change again for her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Way Home is Through You

I think about it all the time. How my life is where it is at right now. I've been alone and it has been my fault. I don't blame anyone else. I can't say my life has been bad or not happy because it has been good and I have been happy. I just always felt like something is missing though. Let me explain to you what I mean. It was early in the career of My Chemical Romance. Gerard's idea hadn't quite set off yet. They traveled to different towns and played where ever they could. I met them the very first time they came to our town and they had no where to stay the night. Since, my parents were renting a whole house for me while I was going to school, I invited them over to stay with me and they came. They came back all the time and sometimes they even crashed for a few days. Ray and I were instantly friends because he'd stay up late with me, when I was suppose to be studying, and played pacman and space invaders with me on my atari. The others kind of hung around.

Gerard was totally my type and I found that I had a hard time talking to him a lot but he always somehow managed to come sit next to me on the couch and have me giggling like a teenager in love. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him how I felt. Their band was awesome and it was going to go somewhere. I didn't want to be the one that held them back or the one that got in the way of them being huge. I was also pretty sure that him and Frank may of even had something going on. It didn't bother me in the least and it wasn't my business to ask either.

Usually, when it was sleep time I slept on the floor in my bedroom and I let Gerard sleep in my bed. It was comforting knowing that the two of us were sleeping in the same room together. This had been going on a few months now, it was summertime and I was on break from school. I got to spend more time with them. Tonight, I swore that Gerard kept looking at me but I chalked it up to my imagination. Then it happened.

I was just falling asleep, wrapped in my blanket on the floor when all of sudden I felt warm arms wrap around me and a soft kiss to the back of my neck. "Mary, you can tell me if this isn't okay and I'll go back and sleep in the bed by myself."

My eyes closed and I let the static he was causing through my body sink in. I moaned softly. "Gee, no don't stop." I gave him myself that night. I gave Gerard all of me that night and I had never been with anyone else. I wasn't holding back or waiting for the right one. I was more waiting for the right time. Afterwards, we migrated to my bed and he held me in his arms.

"All this time I thought you didn't like," he said to me.

"You jest," I said, "I was afraid that I would never be your type."

"Please, Mary, there is no one else like you. Don't you ever forget that."

With that I feel asleep with a smile on my face. We were awakened the next morning by Frank's yelling. "What the fuck is going on?"

My eyes opened and Gerard jumped out of the bed. "Frank, calm down." He pushed him into the hall.

"Calm down. You aren't suppose to sleep with Mary. No, Gerard, that just isn't kosher. You are suppose to be mine and you know that."

My heart broke. I was right all along, there was something going on between Gerard and Frank. My eyes filled with tears and they fell from them as Frank continued berating me in the hall.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I heard Ray say, "you do realize she is right there and can hear every word you say?" He didn't wait for a response. He came into the room and closed the door. I was sitting on the bed, he came over and sat next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried. After that everything changed.

It was a constant struggle for me. Frank wouldn't let them come stay anymore, Ray called all the time and they got more popular. That idea, My Chemical Romance, had finally grown into a big deal and I became just another memory. At first Gerard asked Ray about me all the time and then it stopped. I saw the pictures of him and Frank on stage. Hell, I saw it when I still went to the shows but I never told Ray I was there. Soon, the calls became less and less and then they were gone. The problem was that I was pushing Ray away, he thought he could fix it because he was in love with me and I couldn't do it. You ask why? I was pregnant with Gerard's baby and I knew it would ruin everything that they were trying to accomplish, so, I just let him have his life and I faded into the obligatory nothingness.

Now today, I have a beautiful boy. He turned 12 just the other day. His name is Gerard and he looks just like his father. I graduated a college a year later then I was suppose to but I was determined so that I could support my son and I am now a CEO of a small company. I busted my ass to get there and at 38 you can't say that is so bad. Little Gerard has everything he needs. I never stopped supporting the guys in the band. I went to every concert that I could and watched from a far. When they broke up, it saddened me a bit but I knew there had to be a reason behind it and I often wondered if it had to do with Gerard and Frank.

So, that is my story. I might add no one knows that Gerard is my son's father. As heartbreaking as it was, I couldn't let the secret get out because I didn't want him to know. As I found out though, a secret always comes out in the end. Gerard was married and had a kid with his wife. It bothered me, but at the same time it made me happy because he had found someone that made him happy or though it seemed.

It was like any other weekend in my life. Every Saturday, I took little G somewhere to expand his horizons. I was convinced his intelligence came from his father because Gerard was like this mad genius of sorts and it was one of the reasons why I always loved him. There was this great park a few towns over and little Gerard loved going there. The day was beautiful for a spring day and being in New Jersey, so, we packed a picnic lunch, a change of clothes, a softball and a bat, I picked up a couple of his friends and we went to the park.

We were playing softball in the field when a little boy came over and asked if he could play with the boys. He was a bit younger then the boys and I asked if they would play with them. They were actually pretty good with him and I saw his mother on the side of the field with a guy. She didn't pay much mind to him, she more so was paying attention to the guy and I became even more on alert. If I was paying attention, I probably would of noticed who the guy was that was standing there and by time I did it was too late.

"Mary?"

I turned around and came face to face with the guy. "Mikey?" I said excited and afraid all at the same time.

"Oh my god, it is you," he said hugging me tightly.

"Yeah, it's me," I said pulling out of the hug.

"How've you been? You look amazing." He smiling at me.

"Awesome," I said a little bit too nervous.

"Mom, whose that?" Little G shot walking up to us. He was always way over protective.

"Honey, this is Mikey." I said. "Mikey this is my son, Gerard."

His face went pale and he really looked at the boy. "Gerard?" He said putting his hand out and shaking my sons hand.

"Yup," I said knowing that he knew just by looking at him. "It's okay, honey, go play. I promise everything is good."

"Okay," he called running back to play with his friends.

Mikey's girlfriend was trying to get his attention but his eyes were on me. "He looks just like him."

"I know," I said with a sigh.

"Why didn't you tell him?" He wasn't quite angry, he seemed more upset that I kept his brother out of his life.

"Because Mikey, you guys had all these plans and I didn't want to derail any of them. I thought it was best for all of us."

He shook his head, "you know Gee, he would of found a way to make it work. I have to tell him."

I looked at the ground and nodded as I looked up at him. "Must be time." I said looking at my son.

It was now the next day, Mikey came home with me which pissed off his little girlfriend a bit to much but he told her it was a family emergency and that she needed to back off. He's been playing with him all day and I've been nervously anticipating Gerard's arrival. I watched the two of them out the window, nephew and uncle and them acting like they had been best friends forever. That was when the rental car pulled up in front of my house. I made my way to the front door, opened it and walked out. 

My arms were folded, no clear expression on my face and I watched him climb out of the car.

We hadn't told little G yet, so he was kind of surprised when a car pulled up in front and he was immediately at attention for the male presence. Gerard walked over to Mikey and his son. His face was showing so many emotions and my heart was beating heavy in my chest. 

"G this is my brother," Mikey said to him.

Little G looked between the two of them. "So, he isn't a threat?"

Mikey laughed, "no, no, he isn't."

Gerard knelt down to him, so that they were eye to eye. "Gerard, I am your father." It was a magical moment, something so familiar from one of Gerard's and Mikey's favorite movies. Tears feel down my cheeks as I watched them.

"You're my dad. Mom always told me one day that you'd come back." He said throwing his arms around him and Gerard returned the embrace as he looked up at me on the porch.

I went back in, unable to watch anymore but I didn't get very far. I sat down on the bottom stairs and cried my eyes out. All those years I had thought that it was the right thing to do but I now realized it was the wrong thing to do. The revitalization that Gerard might hate me hurt me more then anything. Then I felt comforting arms around me.

"Everything will be okay from now on," Gerard said.

I looked up at him. "You should hate me."

"I don't. All these years, I wondered why you disappeared and now I know. I realize you made your decisions for what you thought were the right reasons and I can't be angry at you for that."

"I was wrong." I said to him shaking my head.

Reaching up, he wiped my tears and he smiled at me. "We'll talk about it more, just not right now. Please, don't cry."

"I feel like I punished him by not letting him see you."

"Let's leave the past in the past. We can't change what happened. Mary, we can only move forward and we need to do that for our son."

In that moment everything had changed and I realized that he was right. We had all the time in the world to fix everything and we would. I can tell you that after that day it was hard for him to leave. I realized that all those years ago that him and I had been torn apart that he really had been in love me. He did love Frank too and he didn't want to fight amongst us, so, when I pushed them all away, he had looked at it like it was over and went on with his life. He has left several times, but he has come back so many times that I have lost count. We have kept our relationship as platonic as we could because of his marriage. I tried to respect that until one night, I couldn't take it anymore.

I had been in the kitchen making dinner and he had come into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I turned and looked at him. "G, I know we've been being honest with each other about everything and I can't take it anymore." He turned and looked at me, sipping his coffee. "I love you. I am so in love with you and it kills me that you have to leave to go back to your wife. I'm not saying that I am jealous. I am just saying, I wish that it was me."

He put his mug down, walked over to me and smiled. "I love you too. I realized that the last time I went home. That I was going home and all I thought of was you. And then it dawned on me how in love with you that I really was." 

My eyes filled with tears, "Really?"

"Really," he said cupping my cheek with his hand. "Lynz and I sat down. We talked and I explained to her how I felt. Before I came back I filed for a divorce."

"Tell me, that is the whole truth." I said the tears falling from my eyes.

"Every last word, my love. Mary, you are my home. You and little Gerard. You are the one that I have always been in love with. After all these years we found our way back to each other and I can't throw it away again."

"Is Lynz okay?"

"Always thinking about everyone else," he said shaking his head. "She'll be okay. We agreed that Bandit can come stay with you and I anytime that she wants. Lynz likes you. She understands that the circumstances were out of her control."

"Doesn't mean it didn't hurt her. I know what it felt like when you chose Frank over me."

"I know and you know I love Lynz, I am just in love with her." he pulled me into his arms. "Let's not worry about her. It's you and me now. Forever."

I cried into his shirt. It was something I had always wanted but I never thought would happen. Gerard had has found his way home and it was through me. Now all the happiness in the world was mine. I had the man I had always loved and our son with me. Nothing could ever change that again and I now realized that everything does happen for a reason.


End file.
